The Power of Meeting People where They're at

By Marisa Falconi

Support Not Solutions

So many of us jump in with solutions and fixes when our loved ones come to us with their dramas. We get invested, need to change something for them, or assert our advice on their current life situation.

Sure, there’s a chance the person wants our advice, but most likely it’s not what they needed. Most likely, they’re going to smile, nod and say thank you and you’re going to feel like you’re helping while they go on feeling unheard.

A part of the maturation process is knowing when to pause your thoughts in order to fill the space with acceptance and deep listening for another person. In a world where self-help has become the latest fad, where life coaches are a dime a dozen, it’s very important to notice the me-centred responses and opt for holding space instead.

Notice what your initial response is the next time a friend comes to you with a problem. Where is your advice coming from, and what, if anything, is stopping you from simply listening and allowing?

Words by Marisa Falconi