What to do when You're at Breaking Point

How to Pick Yourself Back up Again

By Samantha Doyle

Waking up today, I knew I was on the edge of crumbling.

I felt like I wanted to crack open and just. Let. Go.
Let go of all the responsibilities.
Let go of all the deadlines.
Let go of who every body else needs me to be.
Forget about time for a day.
And just be open and present and vulnerable.
I got up and pressed on. And everything was kind of stressful.
I was happy, and ‘ok’… but something felt like it was going to give.

Now, the kids are in bed. I’ve had time to meditate and soften up a bit.
I rolled out my mat and… there it is.
Time to hear my thoughts and check in.
It was very clear to me within the first five minutes of letting go into my practice that I need to get back on track with my daily routine. As continued to move through the poses, more and more clarity to came through as I envisioned what changes I need to make.

So simple. And yet so easy to just ‘not do’.
So I share this with you because maybe you’re feeling a little out of sorts or distant from your self, and this may help you get back in touch with your flow, too.

My Daily Routine
Open my eyes.
Spend 10-15mins engaged in conscious listening to the mantra meditation or kirtan playing on my stereo.
Stretch out in bed.
Get up and cleanse my body.
Drink 1L of water.
Put the kettle on. Make tea.
Exercise or do yoga asanas.
Have breakfast by the window, mindfully, sitting in the natural light (or eat outside).
9am switch phone on.
Begin the rest of the day’s responsibilities.
Move through the day holding on to this feeling of peace and groundedness.
Taking a moment to return to this point if ever I feel myself getting overwhelmed.
After dinner and putting the kids to bed…
Switch off phone.
Spend time letting go, processing, unwinding.
Take light exercise if needed.
Settle into some work or study.
Switch off technology at 9 -10pm (late I know, but also my unique situation working around home-schooling).
11pm – final prayers and meditation.
Off to bed, listening to very faint kirtan playing softly on the stereo. 

When I live like this…
I can handle it all.

When I try and cut corners, I end up exhausted.
Living like this keeps me buoyant and happy, no matter what obstacles come up.
I still get stressed. But I can stay mentally and emotionally focused and handle life and all its ups and downs… without feeling like I’m about to break at any moment.

It happens (breaking, I mean). I fall off the wagon and prioritise the wrong things sometimes.
And end up here again. At breaking point. But I’m so much better at seeing the early warning signs – such as snappiness and loss of patience, wanting to burn my business down, or dreaming about running away to start a Butterfly House. Once I start noticing these symptoms, I get myself back on track before my world comes crumbling down!

Words by Samantha Doyle