Reclaim Your Identity Before the Algorithm Owns It
Alexis Zahner’s debut book ‘Real’ offers a practical roadmap for reclaiming personal agency in an increasingly algorithm-driven world — moving beyond digital detoxes to ask who we want to be, both online and offline.
At a time when many people feel more overwhelmed, lonely and burnt out than ever, Alexis Zahner's new book offers a personal roadmap that dares readers to reclaim your sense of self before the algorithm owns it.
The timely and urgent Real gets to the heart of conversations about social media regulation and aims to give adults the roadmap they need, especially Millennials and Gen Z, as the world debates the next chapter.
Author Alexis Zahner says the book was driven partly by the ongoing lawsuits against Meta and other tech giants.
“It’s the sentiment of my generation, millennials and younger, our agency and autonomy has been stripped away from us, and big tech and social media have a lot of ownership over the decisions we make.
It’s an opportunity for people to understand and reclaim where their personal agency lies, because a lot of the work in the industry right now is legislative – important, but many don’t feel they have a lot of say over.
I wanted to create something that stepped outside of that narrative around screen time, digital distraction and mental health, and ask more personal questions about who I want to be, what does my digital legacy say about me, and what can I, at an individual level, do about that?”
Real fuses lived millennial wit with leading-edge psychology to explore how social media is quietly rewiring our psychosocial sense of self. A deep dive into the coalescence of ‘real’ life and social media, the book exposes how that sense of self has irrevocably shifted. Rich in humour, empirical research and evidence-based advice, it is a modern guide to unpacking and reframing toxic relationships with digital life where the numbers don’t lie.
4 hrs 47 mins - Average time a person spends on their phone every day
2617 - Average number of times a person touches their phone per day
1 - Gen Z cites social media as their top source of stress and anxiety
40% - Of young people report feeling lonely despite being more connected than ever
Real addresses the most urgent problem in contemporary life, as the statistics show a rapidly growing challenge. Including journaling prompts, self-assessments and reflection exercises, it is also a practical guide for anyone tired of living in the likes, suggested posts, sponsored ads and curated highlights.
Zahner is a business psychology expert, podcast host and tech addict who has spent two decades inside the platforms she writes about. Drawing on her own journey back to herself, it is not a lecture but more a practical framework for understanding online habits and rebuilding a relationship with social media that works.
“It's a book that I wish I had had as a 16-year-old when I was setting up a Facebook for the first time. It doesn't come from people sitting in academic institutions or in politics preaching at us to get off our phones.
It’s not what we want because we want to be able to live with technology, and there's so much that's good about social media.
But the balance of the scales often tips in favour of big tech, and we need to reclaim that at an individual level. I hope it gives people some of that insight and a framework of how to do that.”
Book launch tour dates
24 Sep - TEDx Burleigh Heads Salon – LINK HERE
29 Sep - Talks on Tuesday (lecture) - Brisbane Brewing Co ($30) – LINK HERE
6 & 7 Oct - Mackay schools visits, including Mackay North State High School and alumni event
8 & 9 Oct - Townsville schools visits
8 Oct - James Cook University free public lecture – LINK HERE.
30 Oct – Byron Bay launch event at The Book Room - LINK HERE
About Real
Real is the book for every person who's ever felt exhausted, overwhelmed and lost under the weight of social media. Written by a millennial marketing and business psychology professional who's spent 15 years inside the industry, while being addicted to it, Real blends cutting-edge psychology and neuroscience to explain how social media challenges disrupts your identity ― and how to reclaim it.
About Alexis Zahner
Alexis Zahner is an author, thought leader, and unapologetic technology addict whose voice bridges lived experience with innovative research. A business psychology major, PR strategist and the writer of Real with Alexis on Substack and social channels, Zahner reaches 25,000+ followers with sharp, satirical takes on social media, leadership and workplace culture, and digital culture.
Zahner holds a Master of Business Psychology and a Bachelor of Business in Marketing and Management. Her honors thesis anticipated the rise of influencers, examining the earliest relationships between bloggers and consumer behaviour. A storyteller and scholar, she brings a rare blend of credibility, wit, and lived insight to one of the most urgent cultural conversations of our time.